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L E T T I N G  G O  . . .


A  couple  of  years  ago,  I  started  on  this journey that I will share with you. Things were happening in my life that I was not able to control. There were issues at work and issues with some friends, issues in the family and then finally it started to show on my health. I was to be hospitalized and operated upon and I was wondering why all this was happening to me. Why I was not  able  to  control  my  own  life.  There was  constant  chatter  in  my  head  about the would have and the should have on all fronts – business, family and personal. The more I held onto these negative thoughts, the more misery I created for myself. I had collected a lot of negative garbage from the past in my head but I had absolutely no idea how I was possibly going to just forget  and  let  go  of  everything  negative that had happened in my life and I started to  look  for  answers.  I  was  choking  and literally  unable  to  breathe  till  I  came  to the  revelation  that:  “We  cannot  even take the next breath until we let go of the  existing  one”.  The  carbon-di-oxide has to be able to go out before the space is  emptied  and  then  it  gets  very  quickly filled with oxygen. It has been a tough and painful  process  for  me  but  the  learnings are  worth  every  single  bit  of  pain  that I have gone thru. I had to take all of the negative  garbage  from  the  past  in  my head and let it go to make some space for gratitude and for all the positive things in my life. I had to start living in the present moment  and  not  in  the  past.  Gratitude, Compassion  and  Kindness  became  the keys  to  letting  go  of  all  the  negativity and  the  habit  of  sitting  down  everyday and  writing  down  the  three  things  I  was grateful for in my life and doing a random act of kindness every day helped me a lot.


“We  cannot  even  take  the next breath until we let go of the existing one”


If anyone asked me 24 years ago if I would spend the next half of my life in Prague, I would have laughed at them and to hide my  ignorance,  quickly  looked  for  a  map to  see  where  Prague  was.  Nor  was  I  to know  24  years  ago  that  I  would  move from  being  a  hotel  General  Manager  to the restaurant and catering business. Nor did I know that I would twice get involved in relationships and have four of the most adorable and most lovable children in the whole wide world. The people that came into my life and the timing of their coming and staying or going was everything I was never  in  control  of  but  somehow  I  had always  wanted  to  be  able  to  control  the future, where in reality I have realized that I have no control whatsoever. I was always embarrassed about being vulnerable and always tried to hide my weaknesses from everyone  and  always  tried  to  put  my best foot forward but then I realized that none of us is perfect and VULNERABILITY IS  A  STRENGTH  because  when  we  are sincere and open about our weaknesses, we connect with people at a much deeper level  and  create  TRUST.  I  realized  that  it is about letting go of the EGO and simply being  Compassionate  and  forgiving  – because who am I to judge anyway.


I  realized  that  to  wake  up  to  who  I  am I  have  to  let  go  of  who  I  have  been imagining myself to be or who I have been pretending to be. Once I understood thatCHANGE  IS  INEVITABLE  and  I  am  not in  control,  the  only  way  to  anticipate and  embrace  change  was  to  recognize that  I  AM  VULNERABLE  and  use  the vulnerability  and  sincerity  as  a  strength to  drive  things  forward  by  letting  go  of all  the  negative  chatter  in  my  head  and make  space  for  Compassion,  Kindness, Gratitude  and  Humour.  It  is  not  easy  to untrain and retrain a 54 year old monkey but every step in this direction opens my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities and Magic. It is work in progress as I share this with you but the magic  gets  more  and  more  awe-some with every passing day.


Change  is  inevitable


Whenever I got hurt, it came from a gap between  my  expectations  created  in  my own head and the reality. I obviously could never see things except through my own lens  and  based  on  my  past  experiences. I  used  to pass  judgements  on  people. But as I grow older and hopefully a little wiser, I am realizing that what I see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which I am looking. I  try  to  clean  this  window  as  often  as possible and the view very often changes completely. As the Dalai Lama says “If I am able to let go and be more Compassionate, I  am  the  one  who  benefits  from  Inner peace“. If we love people not because of our selfish interest but because of them, please consider “The toughest people to love are the ones that need it the most”. As I realized this, my perspective changed completely and life started to take a new turn. :)


“The  toughest  people  to love are the ones that need it the most ”


When I understood that life is a paradox and change is inevitable, I stopped taking myself  too  seriously  and  started  to  have fun laughing at myself and the fool I had been all these years. :) I realized that the true  me  has  power,  Love,  Serenity  and Gratitude within. I just need to ensure that I stay aware of it at most moments. For me the  journey  is  like  a  pendulum  between my  ego  and  the  things  that  I  associated with as me or mine and the tranquility of staying in the presence of my true self – the “I am“. The more I can stay away from my ego recognizing who I really am, the more peaceful, loving and happy I am, :) the  more  total  joy  becomes  my  nature and not my goal, the more I feel blessed and start to really en-joy life. :)


Sanjiv Suri

September 2014